Friday, July 24

it's a hard rain's a-gonna fall ~

My dreams have been crazy these last few weeks to say the least ~

People I havent seen or thought of in years are in them, playing an intregal part ~

Usually there is n overall sense of urgency, anxiety. Apocalyptic even.

Sometimes it makes me question decisions I have made along the way ~ some days I cannot believe I am 30 and still so lost in what I want my life to be ~ Ive always wanted different ~ not cookie cutter ~ but keep on finding myself in dreafully boring ordinary moments, with the talking heads lyrics running thru my head ~ this is not my life ~ how did I get here?

We are taking a boat to an island tomorrow with RSB's work, having a crab feast and then the two of us are beachbound for the night ~ OCMD ~ not as blissful as OCNJ but should *hopefully* have the chance to wrap my head around some things on the long ride down ~

And hopefully take some pictures ~ my soul is aching for some creative project to dig into ~

Sunday, July 19

I've been dreaming a lot lately

Just back from vacation ~ a few blissful weeks spent at the beach ~ with not a single rain soaked day ~ with a few jaunts between the jersey shore back home to sparks ~ so few vacation days at the new j-o-b.

Settling back into the grind ~ house a mess ~ Josie was ever so peeved that we abandoned her so she destroyed my bamboo and the carnage is still soaked into the carpet ~ i really should clean that up.

Beach life was an experiment in simplification ~ i brought a small duffel and a backpack full of books ~ an ipod loaded up with new tunes ~ and my camera ~ and I did not want for anything ~ perhaps let that spill over into the real world? The life that is cluttered with too many material and mental "things?"