Wednesday, June 18


I've taken to wearing a very stark palet.

White, Black, Dark Gray, dusty blues and dusty roses, creams...baggy flowing fabrics...mostly what I refer to as my beachy chica clothes. Flowy Eileen Fisher tops, oversized linen pants, mostly barefoot, tired of doing battle with the humidity in the apartment, usually without makeup, hair a curly mess.

I am slowly easing back into the UltraSimple Diet plan...going back to roots...simple to digest, pure, nourishing foods. No caffeine, always a hard one for me, being the java junkie that I am.

My body is screaming for simplification. I daydream about closets and storage and space. My current living situation stress is manifesting itself into every aspect of my life. Feeling overwhelmed last night, suffocated, I grabbed my camera and keys and drove down to the reservoir, enjoying a cooly breezy perfect dusk...

Driving, blissing out to Rachael Brady, I glanced over to seat next to me, and took in all the gadgets accompanying me on my "escape." Ipod, camera, cell phone/palm...all gadgets which are always in my possession...with a touch of a button, a slide of a wheel, a tap on a screen, I have instant internet connection, playlists of my favorite jams, hundreds of pictures, my agenda, my work can one simplify, when one is so attached?

Dressed in white, toes loving the grass tickling under my Rainbows, I wandered besides the water, watching the fisherman, so oblivious, wading in the water, which is reflecting the orange of the sunset.

I found a rock, took to a yogi squat and was there, precisely in that moment. In that exact time and place, with no thoughts to the past, no frets about the future. Merely "being here now." I looked down to the water and right below the rock was a fish, just staring up at me. He was a big guy to, a catch to make any fisherman proud. And I just sat there and we just looked at each other, perfectly still. The went on for the duration of the sunset. I was so calm and my head was clear.

Blissfully I slowly wandered back to my car, amidst the artists painting the view, the lovers holding hands, the children and dogs wading in the water. I took the long way home, enjoying every blissful second with this cheesy ass grin on my face, determined in what I was going to do. I drove myself to Whole Foods and stocked up on some organic goodies for my detoxification. My body, my soul, my mind...all need to be healed. Enriched. Nourished. I am exhausted all the time. It seems like instead of the blissful everyday magical moments to which I should be devoting my energy, I choose to dwell on the shitty draining things. And I really don't want to waste even another fraction of a second with those vampires...

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