inDEADnation

RSB's newest venture - reworking the tunes of GD - fuckin awesome 

...training

hit the reservoir bright and early to get some trail time in - logged in at a little over 9000 steps this morning.  Decided that we must be able to run this route in 4 weeks time.

I have taken to wearing a pedometer to make sure I am getting in a minimum of 10,000 steps a day.

Two days of 4 mile plus hikes on hilly roads has definitely taken its toll on my lazy legs.  Looks like I have a hot evening ahead of my hanging out in a super soft nightshirt and lazily doing nothing -

love it.  especially that dull ache in my legs - they feel like they are coming alive again -

I hope the 2 pitchers of mimosas and crab bene at Mother's post workout didn't diminish the hard work we put in today -

although there is nothing like jumbo lump benes for breakfast as a reward...

the edge

Come to the edge, he said. 

They said: We are afraid. 

Come to the edge, he said. 

They came. 

He pushed them and they flew.

*girl crush*

daria

RSB*snap

*d*day

D*day.  The day I decided to dash.  Warrior Dash to be precise.  They had me at Viking helmet.  And finish line beer.  But mostly Viking Helmet.  Since the event is in October, I have roughly 6 months to train for an event that is attracting some super elite tri-type athletes and me, well I can barely run 2 blocks without gettting winded.  BUT for the last 3 weeks I have been working out at least 5 days a week for an hour at a time.  I have implemented a twice weekly zumba class into the workout schedule and next week will be throwing 2 weekly yoga sessions into the mix.  

I feel like I need something to kick my "get in shape girl" in the ass and going and this is my solution.  I have been meat-free for close to 2 months now - not one slip up.  I thought this would lead to me eating more salads and more plant based foods, hopefully increasing my energy levels.  The only main difference I have noticed is the lack of migraine headaches - not one since I gave up meat, which makes it worth it.

I will be using this blissful blog to chart my progress in become a bliss junkie warrior.  The whole vibe of this event has me stoked beyond words - and I definitely wanted to get some kind of fitness event under my belt this year - and I am totally not a tri or marathon type of chica.  Hell I dont even remember the last time I rode a bike.  Although I have never rappelled down a cliff side, climbed a wall, leaped through flames or swam through a bog either - but they sound much more FUN!!!  Life skills in case one ever does need to do those things to survive.  Ha.  I always thought of myself as a survivor.  If we were marooned on a desert island, I would have no problem surviving - hell I'd probably love it.  I dont know why I think this way because I am in the worst shape of my life and never took any kind of survival training but I just feel that it is in my constitution - ha

Luckily I will have my equally as crazy friend Danielle http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1141294685&ref=mf to train/encourage/whine and complain with me the whole way.  And progress will be tracked using our successful Chuck Norris system -

So Week 1 Training Plan - CARDIO!!!

Yes, I know.  I need to work on arm and core strength hardcore but I need to also be able to run at least 5 miles straight by the time the race comes along.  And that needs to be trail running, not street running - a totally different beast.  So I will be working cardio big time for the next 2 weeks and then start implementing other things -

Monday
am - 1 hour on elliptical pre-work
pm - 1 hour zumba class

Tuesday
am - 1 hour on elliptical pre-work
pm - yoga

Wednesday
am - 3 mile walk/jog around Loveton
pm - Zumba

Thursday
am - 1 hour elliptical/treadmill pre-work
pm - hot power yoga

Friday
pm - Restorative Yoga class

Saturday
am - 4-5 mile Reservoir hike

Sunday
REST

Everyday I also plan on putting in some core work - especially plank and some pilates.  At least 15 minutes a morning.  Technically there are 2 rest days because the restorative yoga is only light stretching and mostly a meditation like class.

Dietwise, I plan to have 1 large green juice or smoothie each day and have one meal be a leafy green salad.  Lots of whole grains and beans and veggies.  After Lent, I am considering bringing chicken back into my diet, once a week.  I am undecided on this but it is very hard to cook both RSB and myself separate meals and poor RSB has been eating a lot of sandwiches lately.  We shall see.  I will not be eating red meat or pork anymore, I am sure about that.  Also I will be joining WW, mainly just to map my progress - also they make you keep a food journal which is necessary when trying to lose weight.  And I NEED to take off 50 lbs in the next 6 months.  Should be interesting.  Baby steps elude me.

xoxo

because something is happening here -

spinning.  caught up in the daily grind again and hating every second.  we had a touch of spring of renewal which was energizing and cleansing, yet here we are with another chilly rainy weekend coming to a halt...
RSB is at band practice and the tree house is eerily silent - leaving me with my thoughts and my daydreams-
Thinking of how I need to get out, go anywhere that is just away - on my ipod this weekend while I was walking around loveton in the sparse sunshine came tp -

Well I started out down a dirty road
Started out all alone
And the sun went down, as I crossed the hill
And the town lit up, the world got still

I used to have such a wanderlust - a desire to just get up and go somewhere - 

just to see something, be somewhere, different.  

Ignoring desires is no way to go through life, on this journey that is so short.  

But there are bills to pay and a clock to punch, a 9-5 world to inhabit.  

So practical and responsible.  

How the hell did I get here ???

elemental

*josie*

Jojo soaking up some late afternoon light

gypsy soul -

wishin it was a crisp fall dusk, camping with friends - I guess I would have to find friends who like to camp first -

inspiration, move me brightly ~

Some images from my files that are stirring my fancy - sorry I don't have links -

Please see if she's wearing a coat so warm ~ to keep her from the howling winds

Apparently the last few rounds of storms that we have had in the Baltimore area are historic, record breaking.  Now they were hardly even flurries in comparison to some of the storms I have seen out in Tahoe in January but people were very unprepared and were panicking like it was freaking Armageddon.  Granted, we WERE snowed in.  The roads were disastrous and the snow was 4 - 6 feet high when all was said and done.  But I enjoyed watching every flake dance in the gusting winds - there is a certain peace and almost eerie silence that accompanies a big storm.  After the howling winds die down, there is utter white blissful tranquility.  Which was so desperately needed after the last year -

I am always convincing myself that I could accomplish so much if I just had a few uninterrupted days - time to organize, to purge, to read, to write, to whatever is on the to-do list that week.  Of course little, if anything, was actually accomplished.  

Dreamy blog hopping.  Net shopping.  Lots of candles and incense and dimly lit rooms.  Fuzzy uggs, baggy braless tops.  Not too much thinking.  Lots of time spent in bed, doing nothing.  Cabin fever?  Ha, I for one, am grateful to have a few peaceful days of not having to do anything or be anywhere for once. Spent doing nothing, because I didn't want to do anything.

Bliss...

counting stars by candle light

The wind has been whipping through our little valley, rattling the old rental windows with each gust -
The bedroom gets it especially bad with windows facing two corners of the building. *Luckily* my wonderful generous mother gifted us an entire Northern Nights (thats right QVC) bedding set - gorgeous dove grey down comforter that is super warm and cozy - sheets softer than my 1000 thread count ultra expensive sheets - a super warm hotel quality blanket and beautiful cream and navy toile bedspread and pillow covers. Perfect for nestling in for a toasty night while the wind howled and shook the windows -
Lazy blissful holi*daze* spent drinking cardamom coffee with cinnamon and madagascar vanilla beans; lovely cozy cashmere layers; soul warming soup; heady scented candles - bliss for the bitter cold -

and if I die in Raleigh, at least I will die free

We ventured on an early fall roadtrip, bound for North Carolina ~ RSB's parents had gifted us U2 tickets forever ago and of course both of us were itching to get away ~ which has been impossible as of late ~



Its still too warm down there ~



But we had a perfect playlist and clear blue skies and fattening southern grub~



wish we could do it again next month ~ to capture some beautiful fall scenery ~



~and on the drive home there was a perfect acoustic Harvest Moon to just bliss out ~~~

it's a hard rain's a-gonna fall ~

it's a hard rain's a-gonna fall ~
Originally uploaded by ~blissjunkie~

My dreams have been crazy these last few weeks to say the least ~

People I havent seen or thought of in years are in them, playing an intregal part ~

Usually there is n overall sense of urgency, anxiety. Apocalyptic even.

Sometimes it makes me question decisions I have made along the way ~ some days I cannot believe I am 30 and still so lost in what I want my life to be ~ Ive always wanted different ~ not cookie cutter ~ but keep on finding myself in dreafully boring ordinary moments, with the talking heads lyrics running thru my head ~ this is not my life ~ how did I get here?

We are taking a boat to an island tomorrow with RSB's work, having a crab feast and then the two of us are beachbound for the night ~ OCMD ~ not as blissful as OCNJ but should *hopefully* have the chance to wrap my head around some things on the long ride down ~

And hopefully take some pictures ~ my soul is aching for some creative project to dig into ~

I've been dreaming a lot lately

Just back from vacation ~ a few blissful weeks spent at the beach ~ with not a single rain soaked day ~ with a few jaunts between the jersey shore back home to sparks ~ so few vacation days at the new j-o-b.

Settling back into the grind ~ house a mess ~ Josie was ever so peeved that we abandoned her so she destroyed my bamboo and the carnage is still soaked into the carpet ~ i really should clean that up.

Beach life was an experiment in simplification ~ i brought a small duffel and a backpack full of books ~ an ipod loaded up with new tunes ~ and my camera ~ and I did not want for anything ~ perhaps let that spill over into the real world? The life that is cluttered with too many material and mental "things?"

classic

i still dig this...

...cusp of the new year

I ventured down to Pasadena to see Jen and Roth; hang out in their new digs, oh so close to the bay...lucky lucky lucky to be so close to the water...unfortunately the town itself is complete lacking in well, everything. Trashy vibe, buildings blocking almost all views of the sea, people the furthest thing from salt of the earth...far away from the surftown vibe which I find idyllic...



We paid money for an unobstructed view of the water, $5 to enter a park, on the bay...we walked along the teeny beaches amongst the driftwood and flotsam tossed up by the sea, finding sea glass treasures to fill our pockets. We shuffled in absolute silence, contemplating the upcoming year, staring as the sun fell, leaving only a fiery red trail behind it...in the simple things lies lifes true bliss...sometimes one needs to feel the earth beneath their feet to find the balance.



I try to remember this as this year I have been thrust back into the corporate world which I thought I had left forever. I try to find my balance in the world of strict schedules, clocking in, minute details and analysis of every move. I am grateful to still have a job in this downtime, but still feel panic that hear I am, on the cusp of thirty, still not living the life I need to lead...

cheap vodka is never a good idea

last night was the office christmas shindig...the booze was a flowin and I was not a knowin too many peeps so I ignored the cheap rail vodka they were making my drinks with...and have been paying for it...

but on a more blissful note...



on days like this...



there really is no place better than this...which led to a day on my macbook searching for something cozy with my feet still screaming from much too much standing around in my sparkly Jimmy Choos and I scored this Eileen Fisher (at a fraction of the price)



and trying to convince myself that Tory Burch flats are so worth splurging on...sigh...

*the bliss project*

A challenge. Forgoing the excuses that I do not have a good camera, that I am too stressed, that the only photo editing software I have came with my mac book...there is something blissful in the raw, natural colors...So I am embarking on a challenge to myself to try to find something bliss inducing to post every day. Lofty.

The above shot is one I refer to in my head, as "last gasp." I took that along a hike around the reservoir one of those days when fall was a clinging on for just a second longer, before the grey came in and massacred all the color from the trees. It was a day when it was crisp enough for the ever trusty cable knit but not so cold you needed a jacket. There was still color everywhere. The last hurrah...

all by myself

Another perfect east coast summer day. Cool enough to turn off the AC and open all of the huge windows in the treehouse and let some fresh air in. I arose early and decided to take in a 930 am yoga class...blissful, very meditative; wonderful start to the day. And I committed. I bought my 10 class pass, which we really cant afford right now, but RSB and I decided that I should put part of my raise towards things that enrich me on both the physical and soul level, especially since I have cut all of that out since RSB has been between jobs. I was grateful to be able to reconnect with my breath. My body is far from yoga shape but starting to practice again is the only way I am going to get there.

After class I came home to a still snoozing RSB and had a smoothie and some organic eggs on apple oat toast and just relished in the blissful calm waves coursing through my body. Then decided to do a mineral soak, slathering Mario Badescu Cucumber mask on my face, lighting some incense and candles and letting the hot fragrant water soak my muscles. Very peaceful, relaxing day...

Now here I am, 830 on a Saturday night, bored as hell. RSB is at a Ravens preseason game with his brother. Recently I have become ultra aware of how far away from my friends I actually am. All of my friends out here are actually his friends. So when RSB is off, doing his own thing, sometimes I become quite aware of actually how alone I am. Which usually doesnt bother me. I enjoy solitude at times. But then there comes those restless evenings where I just want to be anywhere but inside. Of course driving to an unfamiliar part of the city late at night to meet him after the game isn't really sounding too appealing...

So here I am, laying on my 1000 thread count sheets, listening to the crickets song, feeling the cool breeze rustling the curtains, kitty purring away next to me...and with al this soothing calmness I am completely amped and restless and have nothing to exert my energy into...not even a run since my ipod pooped out on me...

I should be cleaning up the place, finally finishing that final 10% of the unpacking, but thats even more unappealing than laying here...maybe sugar free redbulls late in the evening isnt exactly the greatest idea...

om

So after much searching I have found it...yoga bliss. I was starting to feel like Goldilocks out here...nothing quite fit. And then bam, right across the street, a spa/yoga studio, which is the most blissinducing place I have been in a while...excluding the beach of course.

Lately I have been really disconnected on a mind-body-spirit level. I think about it, fret about, constantly. I silently watch myself eating foods which are not nourishing. I sit on my ass most of the day, too lazy to do anything except play on my macbook or watch tv and be a lazy stoner with RSB. An inner voice screams out, "another beautiful day, wasted" as I make excuses such as, I worked all week, I spent the last 2 weeks in school, its hot out, blah blah blah blah...finally sick of it, this weekend I treked out to the NCR Trail, which runs right behind my house for 20 miles, all the way to Pennsylvania. Very earthy, woodsy, wonderful. Wishing I had a bike...So I drug RSB and we wandered for a few miles, him not very happy to be there, me blissin out, feeling the earth under my feet. Last night he was spinning in Baltimore so I ventured out on my own and put in about 3 miles before the grumbling clouds scared me back to my car. And it felt good to get out in nature and move.

Then tonight, still high on my workout kick I decided to explore Ojas across the street. Bliss from the first second you walk in the door. A nice long shivasna, allowing me to reconnect to my body, to my mat. Already the soreness is setting in but the total blissed out vibe I have been feeling for the last few hours is drowning that out. After a good yoga practice everything seems so much more beautiful, sensations amplified. I am so happy I have found a place just to bliss out...

namaste

lazy weekends...

School is finally done, thank god, and I have been back to work for a week, putting all my new insurance knowledge to work. Although the subject of insurance doesn't exactly move me, I love my job. I have satisfaction in what I am doing. I am well aware that I am not exactly living out my novelist living in a cottage by the sea ambitions (yet) but in the meantime, I am ever so grateful to be working where I am.

Money has been a little tight, so we have been getting creative with entertainment. Yesterday me and RSB hiking the NCR trail for a bit, which I am looking forward to doing again today. Apparently the East Coast dog days of August are giving us a brief reprieve from the heat and allowing us to go outside and enjoy the day. It feels so refreshing to have the earths energy pulsing under my feet again.

RSB is still snoozing peacefully as I tap away on the Macbook, drinking delicious fresh organic oj, listening to the owls and birds getting ready for their days. Soon I will tip toe in the bedroom and shower my love with kisses, hoping to awaken him and hopefully convince him to come shopping for some paints and hopefully cover a bit more of the NCR trail and get some pictures...there has always been the itch in my fingers, in my soul, to capture some of the beauty of the everyday moments in this wonderful life. As of late, I have found myself settling into lazy tv watching mode and I hate it. Now that our studio is almost set up, hopefully I will begin creating again, as now there is space to create...

Off to wake up RSB and hopefully venture out...

..the worst student ever

So i am slacking, big time. Morseso than usual. I have excuses, I swear. Plenty of excuses of why I am not studying for my upcoming 2 weeks of classes and tests...plenty of excuse, very valid points in fact... But truth be told, I think I am slacking mostly because I think the subject matter is quite dull.

Yes I admit it. I would rather be reading something else, which I have been doing most of the weekend. Blazingly hot and sticky humid here on the Atlantic Coast. Fueled by an almond mocha blended, putting some last minture touches on the treehouse. It really is starting to come together and I am quite excited about my newly paired down closet/wardrobe. The imensity of my wardrobe was seriously daunting. As much as I love fashion, I gave in, getting rid of at least a third of my clothing. The closet is in order, the shoes are another story but I shall get around to it when I can...

RSB is feeling very restless without tv. I am the opposite, I find it much more relaxing without a constant stream of Law and Order or Orioles games running in the background.

It all ties in with the serenity that I am trying to achieve. Calm, peaceful, stressfree zone which is conducive for creating. We went out and bought RSB some sketch books and pencils today. The guitars are propped up around the office, begging to be played. He has a large countertop for tee shirt design. My workstation isnt completely in place but I'm not stressin it...this insurance class will completely tie up the next 2 weeks of my life.

So off to bed for some much needed shut eye. Tomorrow is my first day of school!!! I'm not nervous in the bit, nor have I put much thought into my outfit, very odd for me. Usually I have the first weeks clothing mapped out...I think more than anything, I'm just too tired to sweat the small things...

29 and holding...

I'm amost 30. This scares me a little...ok this scares me a lot. I feel older than I should most days. Less than 9 months left until the big day rolls around. Friends who are either pregnant, engaged, married are constantly saying things like "this is the age we're SUPPOSED to be (fill in the blank with pregnant, engaged, married) and act like I am insane not be embracing their particular timeline. Then I realize that by 30, my grandmother had been married for 12 years and was the mother of 6. Scary.

So, although I am in no rush to be pregnant, married, engaged quite yet, there are a few things I would like to have under my belt by the big 3-0...

I would like to at least eat vegan/raw most of the week. My body just feels so much more efficient when I am eating well. My hair is so much shinier, my skin is clear and soft. I actually have energy that is not supplemented by 3+ cups of java a day. Before the move I went out and bought a juicer. The fridge is now stocked with fresh fruits and veggies, plenty of teas and kombucha and my purse is filled with Lara Bars for a quickie work breakfast. I am resolving to (on most days) only eat fruit before noon. I am going to start bringing brown steamed rice with beans to go along with my fresh salads at lunch. RSB is very opposed to cutting back on his carnivorous ways so he may be fending for himself more often than he is used to. I have been feeling very disattached from my body for far too long.

I want to make my home into a sanctuary. This truly appears to be quite the feat, as I sit here lazily wishing the bags and boxes would unpack themselves. I want to create a space that inspires both relaxation and creativity for both myself and RSB. I would like to get back to my writing and RSB needs to get back to his art. So we need to create a blissed out little boho den to get the creative juices a flowing in our office. I'm picturing blissful dank meals with good company and heady wine in the fall, when the leaves comprising our treehouse start to darken and become vibrant burgandies and firey oranges. A closet that is organized and spare, as opposed to the overflowing disaster that my closets usually are. A kitchen where I get to experiment with vegan yummy recipes and show RSB that veggies can be tasty.

I want to get back to yoga. Plain and simple. At least 3 days a week.

I want to master my occupation. No, being an insurance specialist is not my dream job. But I love my company and my wrk is satisfying in a strange way. So while I am being an insurance diva guru, I want to be the best damn insurance diva guru I can be. Which is why I am going to school for the next two weeks to get another insurance designation, while I am currently home studying for my ACSR.

A few achievable little goals to add to my neverending list...

Each day, each minute, each second in which you are still breathing, is a chance to turn it all around, start over again...like right now...and now...and now...off to grab some heady organic strawberry lemonade before I get started on the closet...

~with hope

our treehouse

So we did it. We moved. We got the hell out. And damn does it feel good to sit here on my laptop, surrounded by bags and boxes, in front of my floor to ceiling windows which kitty loves so much, and just EXHALE...

The last three weeks have definitely been a whirlwind of activity. Lots of traveling, lots of packing, tons of carrying...there was the annual trip to Ocean City Nj with lots of walks on the beach and cold brews. Then there was our weekend jaunt to Raleigh NC to see Tom Petty and Steve Winwood. We stayed at RSB's parents place, which is an oasis situated behind a country club. Palm trees surround the oversized pool, nestled between more tall ancient trees. RSB's mother was constantly making alcoholic rainbow hued snowballs and the dank stoner food which RSB loves so much. Fresh fruit for me. Lying in an innertube, icy drink in my hand in the scorching NC sun, brought me a bit of the blissful relaxation that I so desperately needed,

Of course, being OCNJ reaffirmed for both myself and RSB that we need to move to a sleepy beach town within the next couple of years. We both crave to be by the sea, living life at a much more relaxed pace than we have of late. The only other place I would consider moving to is Tahoe. Nature-wise, it may be one of the most beautiful places in the country, Definately the most beautiful place I have ever been. If it weren't for RSB, I honestly believe that I would have moved there after leaving corporate hell. I just love having the missing half of my soul (RSB) too much to ever consider leaving him, even for paradise.

So here is where we ended up, freshly moved into our treehouse in the clouds. Leaves hang in front of all windows, a large beautiful tree is ingeniously placed in front of our enormous deck, which offers ultimate privacy. We are on the corner of the building so the back half of our place (the bedroom and the office) look out into enormous woods, where we saw a deer nibbling grass on the first day here. Fall is going to be amazing out here, I can tell already. And its only a mile jaunt to Wegmans and even less to the wellness center where I am about to start yoga classes. There are ridiculous amounts of hiking trails around here, I cant wait to get unpacked and really dig into them...

Can I? Dare I even utter it? I think for the first time, in a long time, life is good...